hello my darlings. as it is a new year i have changed blogs. u should be redirected there in a few seconds if not, pls click on THIS.
been a great blog, but its time to move on. LOVE.
hello my darlings. as it is a new year i have changed blogs. u should be redirected there in a few seconds if not, pls click on THIS.
been a great blog, but its time to move on. LOVE.
[: -SINGS- THE IXUS 40 IS MINNEEEEEE~!
YAY! LALALAAAAA.. [[:
im looking fer names fer it. jint suggested lolita, mon petite(my baby), cherie, antoinette and georgette. huis suggested FLASHER. HAHA. so funky.. but jinying and fiona are totally agst it. kheng wants it t be named WAI GEK. fer wot reason i DO NOT NOE. samsam is agst everything. and sue wants it named SUE. i told her tt i wanted it t be sexy and tts why i CANNOT name it sue (ha bastarding you right sue?)
i still think chloe.. mmm. dunno eh.
watching the tsunami disaster being tracked on the news. the stories are amazing and heat-rendering. like the mother who had to make the choice o letting one son go. luckily he managed t cling to a door and survived.hes 5. and the taiwanese girl who hung to a tree for 20 hours. shes 6.
and dun u think its just wrong to be celebrating on a beach when so many thousands have died on a beach not far from here? countries are cancelling their celebrations out of respect fer the tsunami victims. singapore? no..
another year? wots there to celebrate. it comes every 365 days. and its just a reason to get high and grope each other. theres no meaning to it.
too cold to blog. goodnight.
the form of beauty lies in the ... ixus 40.
hahaha. i saw it today. held it in my arms today. it was whipped away all too soon.
LOLS. yes im gna get my darling ixus 40 tom. today went t check out all e stuff and decided on e ixus 40 cos its got a good resolution, optical zoom, is more compact than the 500 [and i dun need 5 megapixels anyway], has a bigger screen that the ixus 30 [which has only 3.2 megapixels].
the metal. ohh so smooth. so sleek. oh eye&finger orgasms. HAHA.
i need a name fer her. its a her. shes too pretty t be a guy. hahaha..
aite sleep.
lost my denim jacket in sch today. left it in writcom class. bah. tom i have t go fer CATS. jesus. idea journal (2) due on monday as well as outline. radio script due thurs. marketing shit due friday. im too tired to do anything tho.
i know haloscan sucks fuck. i cant see yer tags and have resorted t having ppl cnp em t me. BAH. use e gbk fer a bit if u find it too slow or sth.im gna be changing either blogs or blogskins soon so yeah. cos this blog is becoming old. and there are some memories tt shld be discarded. all my firsts recorded on this blog. ah we'll see how it goes.
i did some "existing situation" thing a few months back. and at tt time i didnt want t believe tt my relationship was surpressing me and stressing me out, making me irritable. but yes.. tts wot it was. i am a idealist. that i know. and something just wasnt congruent with the whole "happy" picture. i ignored it. but subconsiously it gnawed at me until i became petty, quick to anger and unfeeling.
i hate being/feeling vulnerable, yet in actual fact all you have t do is look at me closely and ull see wots under tt whole facade.
maybe i wasnt as happy as i though i was. but sometimes i just knew that i was happy. and when i knew.. i knew.
this is so rambly. ha i dun think anyones reading anymore.
ha and reza is superduper funny. he was demonstrating how "loose" boobs look like w his hand. OMG. damn funny. and k**th and him have so much friction between em its UBER FUNNY. like BITCH FIGHHTTT. oh man k**th is such a bitch. cant bloody stand it. he did some DIVA move just now going WHAT-EVERRRR. HA. /ME ROLLS EYEBALLS.
i love the people around me. they make my day so much better. and they tire me out so that i dun stay up at night. i hate school but love the people. -hug-.
this is fucking crap. i need to work. nights
3 is my unlucky number. SERIOUSLY.
thrid day o christmas [ie today, sucked]. my weds always suck. when i was young i all e accidents i had were on wed. [serious]. break up- wed. thrid time we came closer t breaking, we did break. AH HA! SEE!
anyway, i want my chaos skirt. NB. damn pissed tt i cldnt get it cos my aunt forgot her damned chaos card. BOOOBAHHH.
i feel dead on my feet. well ass now but yes i still feel dead. unrested and unrestful. head is bunged up. like a head cold. stuffy. tird shits.
[: getting my ixus [either 40 or i5] on thursday. ah not a wednesday. hurr.
talked abt my state now with jinying&fiona and i realise im grateful fer something tt this relationship has given me. ha one of many things. i am grateful tt i now know wot exactly t look fer in a guy before getting into a relationship agn. dun think im into guys o e same age anymore cos they just havent seen enuff hardship t mature. i need someone whos been through the pain tt i have, and has grown from it. someone who is more idealistic perhaps. yet can keep me grounded when i need it. yet can fly away on one o my dreams [or his].
i cant be bothered t do work now. i shall do it tom.
mindless chores. numbly doing them.
heyheyHEY.
i think..
i just might be alright. [: thankyou to all of you.
can i say im proud o myself? cos i am.
and im so thankful to all of you. -hug-
I feel the trembling tingle of a sleepless night
Creep through my fingers and the moon is bright
Beams of blue come flickering through my window pane
Like gypsy moths that dance around a candle flame
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did I never thought you would
Moonlight used to bathe the contours of your face
And the fragrance of your flowers rest beneath my head
A sympathy bouquet left with the love that's dead
Never thought the words you said were true
Never thought you said just what you meant
Never knew how much I needed you
Never thought you'd leave, until you went
Morning comes and morning goes with no regret
And evening brings the memories I can't forget
And empty clothes that drape and fall on empty chairs
And I wonder if you know
That I never understood
That although you said you'd go
Until you did I never thought you would
thankyou to all those who showed yer concern. -hug-
friends and sisters are a real blessing
had a convo w kesh online on wed night at 0200 cos i cldnt sleep. and she understood everything i was saying. she shared some o e pain and her invaluable advice. coming from someone who knows the anguish. and keshia always has the right words. and she knew where i was coming from; that friends and family were nice but they just dun hold you the same way. they dun make you feel that way. so true.
sue ann has been another angel. today when i was feeling a bit low she told me tt his love didnt go. it just changed. yes. and now[well in 2 weeks] i will work on getting it changed.
feel like that walking dead.
to love and trust agn. i need a year or two.
thankyou to those who were out looking on wed. im sorry i worried you.
thankyou kelvin. i love you too.
thankyou to the sisterhood who called and msged and loved.
thankyou yaozhi. for being there when i needed.
thankyou lastly to the boy himself. for everything.
---------
Nothing is so good it lasts eternally,
Perfect situations must go wrong,
But this have never yet prevented me,
Wanting far to much,
For far too long,
Looking back I could have played it differently,
Won a few more moments who can tell,
But it took time to understand men,
Now at least I know,
I know him well,
Wasn't it good,
Oh so good,
Wasn't he fine,
Oh so fine,
Isn't madness he can't be mine,
But in the end he needs a little bit more than me,
More, security,
He needs fantasy and freedom,
I know him so well,
No one in your life is with you constantly,
No one is completely on your side,
And though I'd move my world to be with him,
Still the gap between us is too wide,
Wasn't it good,
Oh so good,
Wasn't he fine,
Oh so fine,
Isn't madness he won't be mine,
How it would go
If I knew from the start,
Why am I falling apart?
